Body image.

Image from Full On Style.

My friend Aishamo tweeted a very interesting link the other day to My Body Gallery. It is a place for real women to put up pictures along with their stats (height, weight, clothing size).

Sure, I’m a 30 year-old living in today’s society…of course I have body issues. I’ll admit it – my body issues are pretty bad.  I have this skewed vision of how I think I look.  I’m constantly comparing myself to overweight women. When ever I see an overweight person, I quickly ask P, “Do I look like that?”.  It’s so bad that recently P just says “No” before I can even ask him the question. He knows that I’m sizing these women up to see if they fit the image of what I believe I am.

It’s sick.  Even though I realize that I don’t look the way I think I do, I still can’t stop envisioning myself in the way I do. Why do I think this way? Clearly I’m not the only person who thinks like this.

I’ve never been truly disgusted with the way I look. Do I feel sexy? Not particularly. Do I feel grotesque? Definitely not. But as time progresses, my original reason for starting my weight loss journey is changing. Originally I wanted to lose weight just to be healthy. Now I find myself wanting to shop for cute clothes in stores I rarely step foot into. Of course, that’s just the pressures of society creeping into my mindset – I still desire to be healthy overall. The cute clothes will come with that (I hope!).

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One thought on “Body image.

  1. I definitely understand this. I think that body image is something I’ve become acutely aware of since losing weight. I always used to compare myself to others – I always knew I was big, but I never realized just how big I was; my basis for comparison was seeing other people, and thinking “well, at least I’m not that big.” Eventually, “bigger than me” became harder to find. Now, I have a similar problem – I am smaller but have a hard time visualizing my actual size. But I’ve stopped comparing myself with others, which I consider huge progress. I know that even though I’m not at goal yet, I have come very far, I am very healthy, and I do wonderful things. My clothing size doesn’t measure my self-worth.

    That said, something else that I’ve found interesting is that self-consciousness doesn’t disappear along with the physical pounds. Obese people have days when they feel great in their own skin, and average weight people have days when they feel uncomfortable. I guess I assumed that losing 150 pounds would cure me of “fat days,” but I certainly still have days when I feel uncomfortable in my own skin.

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