I stepped on the scale on Friday morning and wasn’t ready for the number I saw.
I shouldn’t have been so surprised to see it. The holidays are always tough for me, but I feel like I’ve been in celebration mode since our engagement. I justified trips to Shake Shack by telling myself that Shredding for the Wedding would start after the first of the year. I allowed myself to have a sliver of this and a bit of that. I didn’t pass up on seconds and gave into cravings even when I wasn’t hungry. I let the brand new treadmill sit in my basement to collect dust for over a month. I avoided the scale as much as I could, but I could feel it – in my clothes, in my energy levels, etc.
Somehow I thought that I’d start at square one on January 1st, but I ended up creeping back up towards a number I vowed to never be at again. I realize that a number on the scale shouldn’t define me, but it is negatively affecting me. I’m embarrassed. I’m disgusted. I’m disappointed. I’m angry. Yet, I have no one to blame but myself. I’ve had the means and the tools at my disposal and ignored them. Enough is enough!
Wednesday afternoon will be my first Weight Watchers meeting of 2013, and I have every reason under the sun to make this time work for me. I just want to be healthy, feel comfortable in my clothes and feel beautiful in my skin. While I don’t have a specific goal in mind, I am determined to get somewhere – ANYWHERE – one pound at a time.